Sometimes when I’m with my dad, he tells me things. Things that I cannot say for certain are true because their relationship has tainted everything. These are things that I wish weren’t true… things that I wish he would stop telling me. But I let him talk and cry and I just hug him because he’s my dad and I really pity him. He sees this in my face and tells me, “Stop feeling sorry for me.” And I can’t stop feeling sorry for him, for myself, for my sister.
Tired of her husband, my mother pushed away everything that reminded her of him. I never realized until it happened that children had to be the first to go.
Sometimes I resent her for it, sometimes I don’t. But this is what I was dealt with and I have to accept it.
Recently I have been waking up to text messages from unregistered numbers asking me to forgive the sender.
I think I'll be buying myself a new sim card when I find some free time.
I don't think I'll be posting anymore after this. I'm tired of thinking about it. It's behind me. I'm about to graduate, and it's almost Christmas. I can barely call that woman my mother.
Life goes on.
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